For many years, I worried whether I was “in.” Let me explain.
You see, God is both incomprehensibly loving and incomprehensively holy. Both, at the same time: infinite love and infinite holiness abiding together in one being. Human beings — and cultures for that matter — tend to emphasize one over the other. Culturally, it’s a pendulum swinging back and forth, back and forth. Compare the stereotypical Puritan of the 1600’s with our current culture, which seems to call us to love the sin itself rather than the sinner.
Some Christians have a strong assurance of their salvation, God’s love. But they fail to grasp the desperate situation of the reality of sin in their lives. Others, like me, know the holiness of God, know fully well that they fail to “measure up.” As St. Paul says in Romans 7 (ESV), “I do not understand my own actions. I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” We tend to live in shame, not knowing for sure that God truly loves us, not really knowing that we’re “in.”
To be a Christian, you have to hold both in your head.
You need to focus deeply on the aspect of God that is opposite what you intuitively grasp about him. Find ways to put yourself in his way, to step off your bank into his water.
Here’s what it looks like for me:
What you and I must meditate on every day is the absolute perfection and completeness of the work of the Lord Jesus Christ. He was perfect in his life, perfect in his death, and perfect in his resurrection. There is nothing we could ever think, desire, say, or do that could in any way add to the forgiveness and acceptance that we have received from God based on Christ’s work. You are perfect in the eyes of God because [of] the perfect righteousness of Jesus…. You are righteous before God even in those moments when what you are doing is not righteous. You measure up in his eyes even on those days when you don’t measure up, because Jesus measured up on your behalf. Yes, you should acknowledge the sad reality of remaining sin, but you must not make that sin your meditation. Meditate on and celebrate the amazing grace that has completely changed your identity, potential, and destiny.
New Morning Mercies, Paul David Tripp
Let me finish with a story.
Very recently — this very fall, in fact — I had been leading a discussion session on mortality in a coffee shop in Deep Ellum. Repeatedly, the subject of assurance of salvation came up. After our final session, I walked back to my car dejected. This is the very thing that had “dogged” me my entire life. I understood that I was weak spiritually, that there was absolutely zero way I’d ever be able to live up to what God rightly expects of me.
As I sat down in the seat of my car, reaching over to fasten my seatbelt, a little voice told me to look down to my left, into the side pocket of the car door. There was – it’s still there, if you want to see it – a single ticket, the kind you might get at a school carnival.
On it was printed the words “Admit One.”